Photo by Jesse Schoff on Unsplash
I am a firm believer in that everyone deserves to self-care and heal when their soul absolutely calls for it but in a recent survey I had done, 63% said they self-care a maximum of 1-2 time’s a month out of guilt, financial burden or lack of time.
Have you ever caught a flight and actually paid attention to the safety instructions? If you have or do, there is a section on what to do with the safety masks which are located above you, which will be available in case the pressure in the cabin changes (Watch an example here). You are instructed to place your mask on before helping your children or others around you. Do you know why? Because if you pass out due to lack of oxygen, how are you supposed to help your children or others at all?
Being a woman and growing up in a culture where it is common for you to make life choices around your family or extended family, I understand the uncomfortable feeling of the idea of putting yourself first. The thoughts that run through my head include but certainly are not limited to:
These ideas have crippled me for so long. To my core, I believed “No Sacrifice, No Victory”, so much so I tattooed it. If I didn’t sacrifice the want to do other things like relax for example, I would never be successful. I thought my life needed to be 100% for my business and for others, and I now realize that this mentality leads to overwhelm, anxiety, depression and ultimately, burnout.
In my 90 Day Bliss Program, we discuss the importance of self-caring, focusing on self to support others, time management around caring for self, developing a routine and boundary setting, and what that personally means for you, but here, I want to speak generally:
You do not have to kill yourself to achieve your goals and serve others.
Repeat it now believe it.
You do not have to kill yourself, hate yourself and lose yourself to serve others.
While I still strongly believe in my tattoo, I also recognize that I had been taking it too far and that was what my therapist was trying to tell me when I got it in 2011.
So now what?
So, you now believe you absolutely must self-care but now what and what does that look like for you?
Everyone self-cares differently. I personally love massages, acupuncture and hot yoga. Others enjoy meditating or reading a book. Some also enjoy going to the gym, or just drinking wine and sleeping. Whatever that looks like for you or you feel called to try or do - DO IT.
The biggest take-away I'd like to leave you with today is that you do not need permission from others to take care of yourself and I don't mean the literal "Hey honey, can you watch the kids so I can get my hair done". What I mean is you don't need permission from society for the allowance of time. No one thinks you'll be a bad person if you take some time for self and if they do, they likely don't matter. Go out, relax in some way, and take care of yourself so you have more of yourself to give and serve others.